My Talk

Towards the end of my sister's life, as a family we talked about what Jenny would want at her funeral and for her obituary. One night my sister, Amy, was unable to sleep. She said she tossed and turned for hours, when she finally succumbed to the thoughts in her head, she went into her kitchen and sat down and wrote the following tribute to Jenny in about 20 minutes. She went to bed right after and slept fine the rest of the night. That tribute was what later became Jenny's obituary:

Jenny Higley Lynch, two year survivor of brain cancer, lost her final battle on March 13, 2008.

The self proclaimed closet Celine Dion fan will be remembered for her quick wit and uncanny ability to make us all laugh. Her kindness and compassion were shown regularly, especially while playing Trivial Pursuit; hints were given just to give other players a chance. Her ability to turn a phrase when writing was matched only by her never-ending devotion and love for her eternal companion Ernie Lynch and their beautiful and full-of-life daughters, Erin (3) and Phoenix (1).

Her spiritual strength was shown to many as she completed a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Leipzig, Germany, and her testimony shone through in the many callings she served.

Her home was found in Farr West, Utah, where she grew up, and remembers watching storms come in while sitting on the porch with her mother, Joan Higley, and riding in the bail wagon with her father, Harvey Higley. Her brother and sisters will always remember her for her wisdom and humor.

Sultra you will be missed.

Now you may wonder who is "Sultra"? That is a very long story that perhaps some day I will share with all of you... but not today.

For Jenny's funeral all of Jenny's siblings were asked to talk. Me being the youngest, I was the last to talk. Totally not fair. However, I remember I did fine until I got up there and saw all the people who had come to pay their respects to Jenny. It was very over-whelming. It touched all of my family to see all the support from our family and friends.


I knew my talk a long time ago, the first time I saw the movie I knew I would incorporate this into my talk. Below is the talk that I gave at her funeral.

Jenny & Ernie have always read to their girls and one book in particular is Charlotte's Web. Towards the end of the story they are at the county fair and Charlotte has to tell Wilbur that she is dying and will not be able to make it back to the barn with Wilbur.

Charlotte says, "Wilbur, were born, we live and when our time comes we die. It's just the natural cycle of life."

And in response Wilbur says, "No, no! Just climb down. I'll carry you the rest of the way. We'll go back to the barn and I'll take care of you."

"No Wilbur. I don't even have the strength to climb down."

"You have to," says Wilbur, "you have done so much for me."

Charlotte says, "And it was my great pleasure."

Wilbur pleads for Charlotte to come down and asks if there is anything he can do for her. "No Wilbur. You know what you have already done; you made me your friend. And in doing so, you made a spider beautiful to everyone in that barn."

"I didn't do anything Charlotte, you did it all."

"No. My webs were no miracle. I was only describing what I saw. The miracle is you."

I feel like Wilbur did for Charlotte, I wish I could have done more for Jenny. I would have gladly carried her the rest of the way and taken care of her. But as Charlotte explains to Wilbur, Jenny showed to us that she just didn't have the strength anymore.

Jenny and I were sisters and friends. Our miracle is how close our family is.

In preparing for my talk, I started writing down childhood memories and I would like to mention a few:
* While playing on the canal bank we find an old trunk floating. Jenny says, "Look Mindy's it a boat, get in, let's see if it floats." It didn't float.
* Making potions in the barn out of Dad's aftershave, cologne and shaving gel.
* Playing cops & robbers on our bikes.
* Fishing trips on the canal bank.
* Our entrepreneurship idea of starting a store on the Elkin's corner and charging the inventory to Mom & Dad's account at Hoagies.
* Summers swimming at the Westergard's, playing at the Barker's and fighting with the Polsen's.
* Throwing dried corn at cars as they drove by.
* Hoagie Breaks and before there was Hoagies, it was Coy Breaks.
* Combine rides with Dad.
* Saturday shopping with Mom and all the sisters.
* Girl's trips to Moab, Canyonlands, Grand Canyon, Jackson Hole and Yellowstone.
* Bike rides around Willard Bay.
* Annual family vacations to Lake Powell and West Yellowstone.
* Dancing to Abba's "Dancing Queen" for the Ward Talent Show.
* Christmas Mannheim Steamroller concerts and later Kurt Bestor concerts.

When I think of Jenny it's someone who is very creative, stubborn, caring, thoughtful, and overall very talented.

In closing is a poem by Robert Frost that Jenny has in her home:
"The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep. And miles to go before I sleep."

It was hard for all 5 of us to talk and make sure we talked about different things. We (not intentionally) chose different parts of Jenny's life that we talked on. I think it was a beautiful tribute to her life. Not too long, not too short - Just Perfect.

(After this no more posts on Jenny's death... I PROMISE!)